An archivist preserving the images of men in leather, harness, fake uniforms, and bare bodies – Cowboy Frank Harrell educate present readers on the queer landscape in the past
Cowboy Frank stacks of Drummer, Honcho, and Advocate magazines
Cowboy Frank couldn’t have his Drummer Magazines sent to his PO boxes in the 1980s. A tear in the package, enough to see the kind of publication he had ordered, could get him into trouble. He had to cancel his subscription, but it didn’t stop Cowboy Frank from collecting them. He would still buy and keep them every chance he got.
He met his husband Tom then, who was a collector of gay magazines himself. Together, but more so Tom, they grew their collection until Tom passed away in 2018, leaving Cowboy Frank stacks of Drummer, Honcho, and Advocate magazines.
In the 1980s, gay magazines were considered pornographic
As a way to remember his late husband, and to offer readers a peer through how the gay magazines in the past were, Cowboy Frank started scanning each issue he still has, page after page, and uploading it on his website for free public viewing. He sees himself as an archivist-a self-appointed role, who preserves images of men in leather, harnesses, fake uniforms, and bare bodies; men who are posing, standing, kneeling, masturbating, fucking, and sucking.
Articles on voyeurism, gay-sex and escapade essays, comic strips on deep throats, how-to guides on increasing sex drive product advertisements, short stories on wet dreams, and do-it-yourself instructions on creating one’s own harness. These features, once relics of the past, are passed on to the present readers as enlightening and educating souvenirs of queer publications and landscapes to be cherished.
Cowboy Frank and his cherished collection including Drummer
Over the years of collecting and scanning the magazines, Cowboy Frank has accumulated over 250 scanned copies of Drummer, Honcho, Mandate, Advocate and the newspaper Couples, some of which were copies and scans of the contributors who reached out to him.
His conversation, penned as a first-person diary entry, details his role beyond an archivist of gay magazines as his own backstory unfolds: earning his cowboy identity, growing up closeted in a period when gay people faced often-extreme repercussions, navigating the world upon coming to terms with his identity, dealing with sexual advances, marrying his husband after the legalization of gay marriage, and remembering his husband and their memories together.
The nickname Cowboy Frank originated when he traveled to the western part of the United States
I do consider myself somewhat of a cowboy, but it depends on how you define it. I’m involved with the gay rodeo community, although I haven’t worked with horses or herded cattle like traditional cowboys. My nickname, Cowboy Frank, originated when I first traveled to the western part of the United States. Growing up in the eastern part, my father took us on a car trip to the Rocky Mountains in 1967.
I instantly fell in love with the region and bought my first cowboy hat, which I still wear. Years later, when I was working in an office, the women there started calling me Cowboy because I always wore my cowboy hat. That’s how the nickname came about, even before my involvement in the gay community. So, whether I’m a true cowboy or not depends on how you define it and what you consider the norm.
The gay rodeo called Capping on Foot
Many genuine cowboys don’t judge being a cowboy only based on your occupation, but rather on your attitude and how you approach life. That’s how I see myself. I must admit that I haven’t had a traditional cowboy experience. I did participate in rodeo competitions a few times. I even gave barrel racing a try. Unfortunately, my partner was worried about my safety, so he didn’t want me to race in rodeos. And you know what?
His concern was valid because I got injured during my first attempt. So I decided to put a stop to that. Afterwards, I found another event in the gay rodeo called Capping on Foot, which is quite simple and relatively safe. I managed to win a couple of ribbons, and you can actually see them displayed on the wall over there. They bring me joy and a sense of accomplishment. Due to arthritis in my hands, I can no longer handle a rope effectively, so I contribute to the rodeo community by using my skills in web work and computer-related tasks.
Cowboy Frank – gay identity and criticism
I competed for about three years, roughly from the middle of the 2000s up to the early to mid-2000s. I don’t think there was one particular moment that grounded my identity as a cowboy. On my personal website, I have a section called Philosophical Meanderings. One of the entries there is titled “Ignorant Experts.” Throughout all the years, I’ve received only two mean emails. One of them was criticizing gay people calling themselves cowboys. The sender went on a rant about how real cowboys carry guns and whatnot which clearly came from Hollywood stereotypes. But shortly after I posted that, I received an email – this was around 2006 – from a real cowboy. He said, “Pigs don’t know. Pigs stink. Your ignorant expert obviously gets his idea of real cowboys from Hollywood. I’m Japanese by nationality. I have an Indian name. My first ranch job was near Powder River. And we all know Wyoming Cowboys do sheep when we need to give the buffalo a rest. I don’t carry a gun. I don’t need one. I don’t drink because a deputy in Oregon strongly suggested I quit, which also has something to do with why I don’t carry a gun. I’m not gay, but I have many gay friends. I also have many friends who are Republicans, and I’m even willing to forgive that. So, if there’s anyone who fails the Cowboy Sniff test, well, it’s not you. You make a damn good replica.” That was the moment I felt really good. Whenever something significant happens or when I have thoughts or frustrations about something, I post them on my website. It has been a while since I last added anything, but I have saved a lot of content over the years.
Cowboy Frank Harrell collects Gay Magazines since the 80s
I began collecting Drummer Magazine in the late 1970s. My first issue was number 009, which was released in October 1976. I continued collecting for a little over 10 years. In the late 1980s, my partner and I decided to go on a two-year sabbatical, traveling the country in our RV trailer until 1991. At that time, these magazines were still considered pornographic. I couldn’t have them sent to PO boxes. Tear-opened packages could lead to trouble, so I had to cancel my subscription. However, I had accumulated quite a few magazines by then. My partner collected some other magazines like Honcho and Advocate. When I met him in 1983, he already had some issues.
I wasn’t as interested in Honcho because the models weren’t my type. I leaned more towards the leather and S&M side of things. Ever since I started working on websites in 1996, I had this idea of making these magazines available online. After my partner passed away in 2018, I finally found the motivation to pursue that idea. It’s gradually gaining recognition, and I’m still actively working on it. I’ve scanned all the magazines from my collection and even included scans contributed by others. Just recently, I received an email from someone who has a few issues I don’t have and offered to share them. It’s something I always wanted to do, but it’s a time-consuming process too, considering that most of these magazines have nearly a hundred pages, each requiring individual scanning
Cowboy Frank scanning gay magazines for public viewing
The scanning process itself usually takes about 30 minutes per magazine. However, when you consider the entire process of scanning and posting it on the website, it takes around an hour. About six months ago, someone contacted me and wanted to do the scanning themselves, but they had an oversized scanner that captured two pages in one file. So, I had to spend extra time separating those pages. It was a bit of a nightmare. The time it takes can vary depending on the number of pages in each magazine. This is actually my third major scanning project. My first was on the history of Gay Rodeo. It is easy to find that collection online, which consists of around 480 programs ranging from 10 to 120 pages. So, you can see that there’s a significant difference in the time required for each one. Additionally, the coding process to create web pages can be quite time-consuming, especially for the gay rodeo materials. But for the gay magazines, I’ve developed a quicker system using templates and codes.
Cowboy Frank Harrell: educating the present gay community
My second major project involved the Bell System telephone system and their collection of books known as Bell System Practices. It covered everything from phone schematics to tire-changing instructions. I got a bit tired of working on that project and felt a desire to do something different. So, I finally decided to start this current project, which I had been postponing for 20 years. There wasn’t a specific reason that triggered it; I just wanted a change. I enjoy teaching, and by putting the history of the leather crowd on the website, I can easily educate people about it on a larger scale. I don’t have to teach individuals one by one when thousands of people can access it. I like making knowledge available and sharing what I know, regardless of the subject matter.
I would say that uploading and scanning these vintage gay magazines is a way for me to educate the present gay community. I didn’t read too many of the stories in them. I primarily enjoyed looking at the pictures because they turned me on. I’m more into muscular, hairy men in leather or rubber. I gravitate towards the more extreme side of the gay spectrum, the BDSM and fetish scene. I consider myself a bottom who enjoys being tied up and used. However, things have changed for me in the past couple of years due to my prostate cancer diagnosis. Given my health condition with AIDS, surgery wasn’t the best option. Instead, I’ve been undergoing chemotherapy called Luron, which eliminates all my testosterone. As a result, I have lost all interest in sex for the past year and a half to two years. Now, my focus is on creating a remarkable collection that I can share with the world. “Archivist” is a fitting term for what I do.
Cowboy Frank Harrel – “Am I a real Cowboy?”
I didn’t realize I was gay until around the age of 23. Growing up, I had some experiences that made me really afraid of someone finding out my secret, so I kept it hidden. I didn’t meet many other gay people. If you want to know what it was like in the US, newspapers were a good source of information, not specifically gay magazines. Depending on where you were in the country, it could be scary. They still did things like lobotomies, where they take out part of your brain, or castrations, which was really frightening. That’s why I tried to stay in the closet. I didn’t fully come out until after my father passed away. I think he might have known, but I was afraid he would find out. In 1969, I had a friend whose father was in charge of a national park. I got the chance to spend two weeks there with him. One night, as we were sleeping in separate beds, I told him I was scared and thought I might be gay. He assured me I wasn’t gay because back then being homosexual was seen as being flamboyant and crazy. That kind of shut down the whole conversation.
I still had that feeling inside. It took me about 10 or 15 years to fully realize and accept my own situation. I wrote an article on my website called “Am I A Real Cowboy?” It talks a bit about my history and discovering the truth. At one point, I worked for a church in downtown Washington, DC. My job included opening the church for a specific group on Saturdays, which was basically the gay church. I was really scared, especially when one night a fat guy started chasing me around the building. At that time, I still wasn’t sure if I was gay or not. Later on, I was leaving the church after locking up and noticed a bunch of advocate magazines in the trash can outside. I grabbed one and took it home. By the time I finished reading it, I knew who I was. But it was still many years later before I fully accepted it and came out to others.
When Frank Cowboy Harrel became a cowboy
I stayed in the closet and didn’t really meet anyone for a long time. When I finally got my own apartment, I remember going to a place called the DC Eagle – this was after my father passed away. I was really scared to go inside at first, but I ended up liking the people there. This was back when the DC Eagle was on Ninth Street. They’ve moved several times since then. They had a great restaurant upstairs and a store where you could buy leather and motorcycle gear. I would go there to eat in the restaurant. One day, without realizing it was Halloween, I decided to dress up in a harness that I made myself since I couldn’t afford to buy one. I also wore a leather vest and leather pants. I thought it would be cool to ride my motorcycle to the Eagle that night. So I was all dressed up with my motorcycle cap, just like in the movies.
Subtle orgy and oral invitations and underlying sexual intentions
I was going to the DC Eagle, but I was still scared. One time, while I was eating a salad and wearing my leather harness, five guys came and sat around my table. They kept asking me why I was dressed that way and what I wanted. I was so innocent and had no idea what they were hinting at. I just told them it was about the allure of leather. Eventually, they realized I wasn’t interested in going home with them or being their slave for the night. It took me many years to understand their intentions.
Cowboy Frank’s insight to his sexuality
I spent a couple of years as a volunteer firefighter, and I became attracted to the rubber boots they wore. One day, a fellow volunteer came up to me and started talking about how he had to respond to an ambulance call in the middle of the night without getting dressed properly. He only had his bunker pants, coat, and boots on. He was hot and sweaty, and he knew it turned me on. However, I was still hiding my true self. After a few minutes, I said I had to get back to work and he realized I wasn’t interested. He left. It took me a while before I could understand that he was trying to initiate something with me. I didn’t realize it at the time because I was still naive. I often think about that situation now. If I had given in to his advances, I would have probably become promiscuous and engaged in such activities with many other people. If that had happened, I would have likely contracted AIDS much earlier and may not be here today. So, not giving in had its advantages. But if I had, it would have probably felt like living in paradise. However, I’m glad it didn’t happen because I didn’t contract AIDS until much later. It was in the late 1980s when I acquired it, and we didn’t discover that I was sick until 1991.
Cowboy Frank – overcoming preconceptions
I’ve always been shy. If he had directly asked me for sex, I probably would have done it because I would have understood what he meant. But he never used explicit words or mentioned anything sexual. He just talked about how hot and sweaty he was and how long it had been since he showered. He mentioned that he didn’t even have underwear on. So looking back, if he had been more straightforward, I probably would have agreed. This happened around 1978, and during that time, people were just starting to understand that gay people were just like everyone else. I can’t provide honest feedback on that specific incident because it happened so long ago, and I only remember the basic details. I was still scared of someone finding out I was gay and being sent to a mental institution or subjected to “treatments” to change me. That was a big concern at the time.
Tom and Cowboy Frank’s hurdles to marriage
The change we’ve experienced in the last 12 or 13 years is like night and day. I never thought I would be able to marry another man in my entire life. When the US Supreme Court legalized gay marriage, it was a funny story. Tom and I were at a rodeo in Canada. It was a Friday, and they were having a rodeo school. I was there with my steadicam. Do you know what that is? It’s a mechanism that holds the camera up and stabilizes it. I’ve used it a lot in the past few years, but not recently due to my declining health.
I was working with my steadicam, taking pictures of the rodeo school, thinking that Tom was at the hotel when in fact he had driven to the rodeo grounds. He approached me, and I asked him to give me a minute. As soon as I set the camera down, he got down on one knee and asked me if I would marry him. It all happened about 45 minutes after we heard the news from the Supreme Court. We decided to have the wedding in our backyard on our 32nd anniversary.
The proposal of Tom to Cowboy Frank
I was actually planning to propose to him myself, but he beat me to it. If he hadn’t done it, I would’ve been the first one to get down on my knee and propose. I had the intention of getting down on my knee and asking him to marry me, but I wasn’t really good at planning things. He was at the hotel, probably watching the news on TV, and at the rodeo grounds, where we were, the news spread quickly in the gay community. I guess we both learned about it simultaneously.
Legalising gay marriage changed Cowboy Frank’s life
That decision to legalize gay marriage made a huge impact on many people, including me. Once Tom and I got married, it had a significant impact. Tom had a long military career, serving in the Army for over 20 years, including two tours in Vietnam. During his second tour, he was in charge of the Agent Orange program. In 1983, when we met, he was reaching retirement age, and I convinced him to leave the army to protect his benefits and retirement. He retired from the Army and soon after started working for a private contractor called SCIC, doing similar work to what he had done in the Army. Have you heard of the movie ‘War Games?’
Cowboy Frank – Remembering his husband Tom
It’s a great film about a high school kid who plays computer games. In 1983, computer games were not as advanced as they are today. Tom’s job involved dialing into different computers to check if there were any games on them. In the movie, the kid unknowingly connects to a computer called the Whopper, which the US military had tied to their nuclear weapons system. You can imagine the chaos that ensued from there. It’s a fantastic film, especially for computer programmers. Here’s the interesting part: The Whopper computer was fictional, but the government had a similar system. It was used by generals to simulate battle scenarios, inputting information about troops, tanks, and the terrain. After processing the data, it would produce a detailed analysis of the likely outcome. Tom was one of the operators of that computer.
That was his last job before he retired. He didn’t love what he was doing, but he took pride in his career. He couldn’t share specific details about the system because of its classified nature. However, I knew the general nature of his work. He had a top-secret clearance and maintained it for ten more years, although he eventually let it expire since he wasn’t using it anymore. One example of his work at SCIC was his involvement in a study to develop tanks with reactive armor, which can deflect incoming projectiles.
Growing within the Gay Rodeo community
For about four years, I attended various rodeos, taking pictures and videos. It was a great experience. In 2000, I received an email from a guy who lived relatively close to me. He had seen my website and liked my pictures. We eventually met and became friends. He was a member of the Atlantic States Gay Rodeo Association, and I had been going to their rodeos for a couple of years. I even had pictures of him and his partner participating in races. Their association had a poorly designed website, so I took over and improved it with my friend’s help.
A move to Denver for the IGRA
During an IGRA convention in 2006, I approached the new president, Brian Lander, and offered to work on the organization’s website. We made the connection in January 2005, and I started working on the International Gay Rodeo Association (IGRA) website. I had the vision to digitize and share all the previous rodeo programs, not just for the Atlantic States Association but for all gay rodeos. However, the archives were located in Denver, and I was in Virginia, making it impossible to achieve. But in 2010, due to various circumstances, we ended up moving to Denver, and suddenly the entire archives were stored in my basement as they needed a place to keep them.
The Colorado Gay Rodeo Association had a storage container where they kept their equipment and records. Part of the archives was also stored in the basement of a gay bar in Denver, but it had experienced flooding and mold issues. Eventually, they moved everything to my basement, and that’s when I started scanning the materials around 2012. I have some information about it on the gay rodeo history website. As for the rodeos themselves, besides being a great place to see attractive people, one of the rodeos in Florida stood out because it was near Fort Lauderdale, known for Muscle Beach and the presence of muscular men. I took some of my best pictures there.
The gay community welcomes Cowboy Frank with open arms
I found that the people in the gay rodeo community were friendly and welcoming. Unlike some other gay communities that can be exclusive, the gay rodeo is the complete opposite. It’s like one big happy family. Of course, like any family, there are a few problem individuals, but overall, we support each other. In regular rodeo, contestants rarely help each other. It’s a cutthroat competition. But in the gay rodeo, it’s different. We want everyone to do their best, and we’re willing to lend a hand, offer advice, or fix equipment for each other. We compete against each other, but we also want each other to succeed.
Comradery is a big part of the gay rodeo. We’re all friends, regardless of sexual orientation. In regular rodeo, men do rough stock events, and women do barrel racing and roping. There’s no crossover. But in the gay rodeo, we have men barrel racers and women bull riders. We compete equally, and there’s no discrimination based on sexuality. As long as you follow the rules, anyone can participate. This inclusivity was one of the reasons I got involved in the gay rodeo.
What the future holds for Cowboy Frank
I’m going through a lot of health issues right now and seeing multiple doctors. I have AIDS, and I’m being treated for prostate cancer. My recent blood tests showed some abnormalities, so I need to schedule appointments to address those. The challenge is that I live 150 miles away from my doctors, so it’s a 300-mile round trip. I try to schedule multiple appointments on the same day, but it’s difficult. I don’t feel old, but I lack the energy I used to have. Some of the blood tests indicate problems with my T4 lymphocytes, which are related to AIDS.
I don’t know how much time I have left, but I hope to address these health issues and continue my work. I love working on the websites and being involved with the gay rodeo circuit. It has been one of the most enjoyable parts of my life, and I don’t want it to end. I’m 71 years old now and have been living with AIDS for over three decades. When I first got sick in 1991, the doctors gave me six months to live, but I’m still here. I want to make the most of every minute I have left. I hope to keep sharing knowledge, adding more content to my websites, and my YouTube channel dedicated to rodeo videos.
